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Letter "D" » Deep Thoughts
"Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"I'd rather be rich than stupid."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
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