Quotations
It is sometimes difficult to be inspired when trying to write a persuasive essay, book report or
thoughtful research paper. Often of times, it is hard to find words that best describe your ideas.
ResearchAid now provides a database of over 150,000 quotations and proverbs from the famous inventors,
philosophers, sportsmen, artists, celebrities, business people, and authors that are aimed to enrich and strengthen your essay,
term paper, book report, thesis or research paper.
Try our free search of constantly updated quotations and proverbs database.
Letter "D" » Deep Thoughts
"I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the inpression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
"Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling hes story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though."
Author: Jack Handy
About: Deep Thoughts
Pages: « Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next »
Research our database of over 800,000 top-quality pre-written papers
plus 15,000 biographies for only $9.95/month.
Instant Account Activation. Register Now.
|
