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Letter "H" » Henry Youngman Quotes
«If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.»
«I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock»
«Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.»
«Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.»
«I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.»
«The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.»
«If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.»
«When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.»
«I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.»
«I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.»