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Letter "P" » payments
«If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.»
«Anyway Kenny, Yellow MegaMan is only $8.95, so maybe your mom can put it on layaway and make payments for a year or two.»
«You know Chad's definition of the New Poor? People who are too far behind with time-payments on next year's model to make the down payment on the one for the year after»
«Divorced men are more likely to meet their car payments than their child support obligations.»
«Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.»
«Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.»
«I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
, good luck
, Late Night
, one shot
, shrivel up